the love for anything that moves esp bikes! oh yes, and blushers. what a contradiction! :)

Thursday, August 21, 2008

continuity.

the topic i was on with my manager tt day when i lunched w her e other day. she says in working life, u tend to come to a point where u will stop and think about where ur life goes from there and u start to wonder where it should continue to and whether it makes any sense to have any continuity.

let me sidetrack a little, sumtimes when i read my blog, i realise it hasnt have much life lately and it lacks of vibrancy. but really, i dont care. it may seem like "omg, joanna has become sooo depressed." no, the fact is, im still my usual self but with much more thinking with the same amount of play and fun but i find it pointless to show it all on my blog. afterall, my blog is my online diary and i wanna rem my reflections instead of all those fun which i can easily remember or reminisce them with all my photos taken on my panasonic digital camera.

and to continue on, it is really common for everyone to get a little disillusioned with everything that they are doing at the moment. like how does things go from here, why are bad things all happen to me, why dont i have the luck tt she has and lotsa questions, lotsa why-s.

a very close colleague of mine, uncle wee tendered his resignation last week. his offical last day will be the last week of aug. it made me a little sad cos i dont think it would be tt easy to find a colleague who has such bond and chemistry. who doesnt mind fetching me home when im too lazy to ride my bike. who is always super happy to jio us for bfast right after night shift ends. to him, whenever work ends, it is happy happy time. we spend alot of time bitching abt work and people. we dont mean any malice, just talking abt life and all. sumtimes we luff abt some colleagues and then it goes away. i know it is not very nice, but really, tt was how we bonded and i dun think tt is something tt anyone can replace.

so he quitted cos he couldnt find any reason to maintain his continuity in life. he is going to take train from sg to kl and then to thailand, then to hk and then to china. i appalaud him for his courage and zest in his life. at the very least, he knows wat he wants to do. alot of us, cant walk away from what we are currently doing because of commitments and responsbilities like family. some people dont dare to walk away because of salary, pride, fear and insecurity. and many of us fall into one of the catergories. of course im no exception. and how we make up the loss/fall is we give ourselves to the special treats on a frequent basis. like travelling once a year, like having fine dining every weekend, like buying oneself a car to make him/herself happy or like buying branded bags.

sumtimes it is such irony that we have to find pleasures in all these because we choose to put ourselves into such torment and then get out for a while with the monetary rewards/gains tt we gotten from those daily torment. of course im not talking abt work only, but to the daily rountines tt alot of us are accustomed to and are mandatory to do it.

then after 20 years of slogging, one will start to realise like "hey what have i done and where i have been?" and all of a sudden, i realise there shld be continuity in everywhere tt one does and it shld flow smoothly. one cannot just remain stagnant at the same spot.

some people pride themselves on climbing the corporate ladder, some getting their first million at an early age, some getting their first bwm or mercs or even some their first LV bag. okay, good for them. really. if that is where they find happiness. i used to judge and comment alot. and i always dislike the fact that there is discrimination of rich and poor, the old and young, the men and women. but i always ask myself who am i to judge? i chatted w crispy yest and ive come to concluded many things myself. people choose to lead their own life and it is really none of our business unless the actions affect us indirectly. eg how ur neigbour likes to plant his plants outside. it seriously doesnt affect u unless it starts to attract bees and u got stung because of tt. let pp live the kinda of life they wan because it is their choice and you have no say at all in others, let alone poke ur nose into their stuff.

tt was sth very precious tt ive come to realise. u can talk abt it but u shldnt comment. i have to learn to respect for choices. perhaps tt will make me someone nerdy, geeky cos i dont bitch anymore, but im not a perfect person so i cant comment as and when i want.

as for me, i have many goals in life and for now, im taking a short break perhaps 2-3 years back after the pursuit of academic excellence for the past 16 years and then i will join the dots (each dot repesent a goal/aim) to form a continuous line thru-out my life!

st james tmr. partying time with the guys. =)