the love for anything that moves esp bikes! oh yes, and blushers. what a contradiction! :)

Monday, June 23, 2008

perhaps it is the weariness that resulted from waking up at 1am bcos of my hungry stomach and not going back to slp thus staying awake till 6am for work.

perhaps it is the msg that triggered some thots in me. the msg that goes "today im going to pray to my sister's mother in law." "pray?" i asked, "yes, pray, she passed away 2 weeks ago."

humans are just so forgetful. they never rem to cherish the people around them. and always, death is the only way to make one realise how much they are missed.

perhaps it is the never endless request at work.

perhaps it was the cte jam to work.

perhaps it was those annoying students that are attending sch once again, and those horns are sounding away cos the roads are just too busy.

perhaps it is the 50 cents ERP cos i missed the ERP exit by 1 min.

perhaps it was crispy that annoyed me cos she was 30 min late.

perhaps it was because the relatively not so good day at work cos i missed my kakis.

perhaps those changes in life that are getting clearer to me are making me believe that life isnt that simple as i thot out to be.

perhaps the distance btw frens are just too far away that no amt of phone calls help.

perhaps i havent drove my manual car for a long time.

perhaps my bike looks too dull for me.

BUT whenever im down, i can always think of good things tt happened to me.

i ate my favourite sliced fish noodles today.

i drove the 3000cc lorry in the port today.

i had company for dinner. i had mac and roti prata. (oh no!)

my wireless is working so fine now despite hiding behind the wooden door in my room.

my ride home was smooth, no jams.

im going to travel out of singapore again!

my window media player is constantly playing those 400+ songs.

how pay day is drawing near!

and july work schedule is going to be churned out soon. i love new month roster.

i have my mitsubishi lancer driving tmr!

how im drawing near to my goal to my first car, the most expensive gift to myself. =)

how people pamper me.

new colleagues at work!

and how charlotte sounds equally excited to meet me this coming sat!

actually this post is not without intended meaning.

i do have alot on my mind and i cant wait to get them out.

i headed home after work and i had lovely company for dinner. talked abt work and also the nitty gritty that happened. chatted abt family and life.

the previous post i published abt my character really reflects me. i love such intellecutal talks after work. it energises me cos it is nice to know someout out there can share the same level as you.

after the feast of mac and roti prata, headed home and swtiched on my most prized item now. AH-DELL!

no worries, ah dell is serving me really fine. considering to get garskin since dbs credit card have got some 25% off now! plus free delivery.

2 days back my mum texted me and told me tt she was going to pray to my aunt's mother in law. and i was really puzzled. pray?? you mean she passed away? i aint close to her at all, but death is really an morbid idea to me and till this very day, i am constantly reminded by my grandpa's death. on each pay day, the first few people tt i wanna share my salary with is my ahma and of course him. then at times, when i achieve sth tt will definitely make him proud, i wanted so much to share it with him. or whenever i have spare time and drop by grandmother place, i want to see him so much.

if he were still ard, im sure he will be so proud of me. proud tt i have a stable job, proud tt i will be getting my car next year, proud that i will give everyone a better life, proud that i care for my sisters and proud that i still love him.

but i know no matter where he is, he is still proud of me and he knows that i love him very much.

it has been some time he passed away but the funeral seemed only like yesterday. the rituals, the black&white photo, his serene smile. i do miss him scolding me, miss him calling me many times in a day, miss his toothless smile, miss him praising me, miss his charcoal steamboat, miss his effort in getting me a birthday present each yr, the camera, the walkman. anything i wan, he never fails me.

grandpa, i miss you so. i hope u have adapted to the life up there. come this july, i will pay u a visit with really nice and delicious vegetarian food. no more oily pig trotters for you okay, it is not good for ur health, shall get u some prune juice and some bread with condensed milk. please rem us up there. we all miss u alot.

such thots are really draining. i really wonder where do pp go after they leave here. are they still beside us, staying with us as guardian angels or are they happily somewhere enjoying their life where there is no pain and agony. and do they still rem us when they leave? will they be able to recognise us when we see them again in the other world? are there families in the other world? can they feel our thots for them? and can they see us whenever they wan?

it has been such a long time i spoke to u ah-gong, i hope u aint lonely. will speak to you more when i go and pray to you okay? shall bring sister along. we shall update u about our lives. we have been leading fulfiling life since the day you left. we know we are so going to make u so proud of us. sharon found her interest in life and she knows she wants to specialise in QC when she graduates. praise her alright cos she is so determined in whatever she wants. and she is fast in her driving lessons! her engine only died 4 times for her 2nd lesson. =)

wait for us okay? we will share more with you.

i guess with such thots, life cant be happy. but it is not bcos i cant get over my grandpa tt makes me depressed, but rather, what ahgong used to teach me is so true. despite his bad temper, he taught me alot in life which i only realise are so true after he passed away.

regardless at work or outside, there are so many indespicable people around. im getting a little tired of those flauting of material possession bcos i think it doesnt get one anywhere and it only breeds greed and jealousy.

i know i have ranted abt it many times and people are getting a little sick of my rantings. but really, life is more than tt.

just yest, in the sunday times, there was an article of the increasing trend of young adults below 30 getting into more and more debts! some even as high as $200,000.

my first thot? what is there to buy that they can chalk up so much? and credit bills? isnt it right for you to pay what u used? why are they letting such commercialised insituitions earn their hard earned money? and car loans? why are there people who take up 100% loan and then let the interest grow and grow? dont they know how to do simple maths? and why buy a posche when a toyota works equally well? like hello, u are in singapore, not in msia where there are long roads for u to travel at 200km/h...

i really dun get it. recently, i had this fren who was crazy over the coach sale. she doesnt mind digging out her entire savings to buy an a4 size bag. she did anything and everything to make sure there was enuff $ in her bank so she could buy the stuff online.

i watched it with a smile. firstly, i dont understand the mentality of girls thou im a girl myself. secondly, i wonder what she is going to survive on with only $1 in her bank account. thirdly, such bags can indeed boost the confidence level only if u belong to those low morale grp.

it is not right to say im nt materialistic at all. afterall, if im not, i wldnt be typing on my new lappy, aiming for the next videocam, saving up for my next car. but i think these days, consumerism has became so far-fetched tt the vanity of girls are becoming more and more disgusting. they literally doll themselves in everything tt are branded. hey my ABC brand slipper are branded too cos they are brand-ed. u get it eh?

it boils down all into the confidence level and as well as how you think people MIGHT look at you. some people just dont have the courage to walk ard without those branded stuff because they might be despised or luff at without them. but think abt it, u are a laughing joke yourself isnt it when u dress like a chessboard (think the LV monogram series) or the bag with just an alphabet G (think the infamous gucci).

i think a thesis of such materialism would be interesting to read. but seriously i wldnt spend time analysing it. now im channeling my energy to think how i can enhance my life.

been slogging and enjoying my life for one year. time to take up sth new after my class 3. maybe to read a book per week or to learn new language. or baking.

i need new aim in life.

actually i wanted to discuss abt an incident tt i encoutered recently. this girl, let's call her XX. she seems to like to bring me down very much, which i secretly enjoy because the more she tries to bring me down, the more it reflects her jealousy of me. =)

but words spread. i guess i will only share them withm crispy and yellow! and oh charlotte this sat!

CHARLOTTE I MISS YOU!!

i do miss the chats we had at mac-s in bangkok too. meet u up really soon!!

life's not that bad seriously.

somtimes missing someone just makes it feel really bad. but after those tears, you know life hasnt been unfair to you.

like i always say, i got more than what a girl wishes for. and im more than contented with tt. god has blessed me and i thank the one up there for it.

=)